F A M O U S Q U O T E S
"I picked the wrong mark this time..."
"Oh, by the trembling leaves of the Hist, I hoped never to see this one again."
"So, how about it? A private word? It will only take a moment of your time, and I promise... it will be worth your while..."
Argonian. Not a f#!*king dragon. For the last time.
Somewhere in Black Marsh. It’s all pretty much the same anyway.
Independently wealthy. Well… I guess it’d dependent on whom I steal from. But it’s honest work if you can get it. What was the question again? Occupation? Oh, thief. For a minute there, I figured you had just assumed that based on my species. But no, that would be silly.
Favorite Weapon/Fighting Style
Don’t get me wrong. I can throw down. But nine times out of ten, I can just avoid fighting. I may have a forked tongue, but that sucker is silver, if you know what I mean. Heh heh heh. So, favorite weapon? Aside from claws, teeth and the occasional dual-wielded daggers, I suppose my favorite fighting style is raconteurmanship.
Magical Aptitude (If Any)
Aptitude, no. But I actually know quite a lot about it. Soris was never really that secretive about stuff he did in his free time. Pretty verbal about it, actually. So I understand the theory. I know where to get all of the weird ingredients they need for stuff. Had to fetch some pretty “out there” material components over the years. But I never found anything that magic could do for me that I couldn’t take care of with other skillsets.
Late of the Thieves’ Guild. I ran that racket for a long time, and business was booming, let me tell you. I suppose I have a loose “affiliation” with what suckers might call “the criminal underworld”. I got connections, yeah. Done a lot of things for a lot of folks. Done a lot of things TO a lot of folks, as well! So, my ability to go unnoticed comes in pretty handy from time to time.
Shiny things. The sound of expensive artifacts rattling around in my various pockets, sleeves, knapsacks, maybe between a couple loose scales… I mean, whatever, you know? I adore the security that a shadow can afford. Have you ever really paid attention? You’re walking down the street, minding your own business, and just… a sign is hanging by a door, and there’s a torch there, but the sign just happens to be covering the torch just right, and the door is bathed in the most exhilarating darkness. And you look around, and nobody’s paying attention, and at any moment you can just sliiiiide into that shadow and do things to that door that are really not appropriate for polite conversation. Yeah, that really does it for me.
Guards. Goody two-shoeses. People with no sense of humor. Idiots who call you “dragon” even when they’ve known you for like 10 years and, like, two lifetimes now. Prople who blame you for stealing some horse you rode in on like ONE TIME, and that’s only AFTER the son of a bitch has already stabbed you! I mean, why am I still hanging around here? Please, somebody remind me.
What is your ideal recreational activity?
What we do in the shadows. Both the TV show, which is hilarious, but also the verb. Pretty much anything in the dark is okie-dokie by me.
What is your best feature?
Ask me about that second tail that nobody has ever asked me about. Please. I’m begging you. People just think I have a cute little foreign name and just…. nothing. People are dumb.
Let’s be honest. What’s your claim to fame?
My claim to fame? Ha ha, that is a good one. In my line of work, the greatest claim to fame one can hope for is to be so famous that nobody has ever heard of you. At some point, I got sloppy though, and somehow the beans got spilled about who I was and what I’ve done. I mean, it’s not like these idiots know my face or could ever identify me, but the name, man. The name carries weight. And I guess I’m okay with that.
My photo Album
Dude, what did I just say about nobody knowing my face? It’s bad enough they plastered my likeness all over this page, but you think I’m gonna show snapshots of me in my natural habitat? ie: caught green-handed with piles of identifiable loot? Don’t be silly.