F A M O U S  Q U O T E S

"I am Baron Administrator of this Campfire."

-Cando Lalrissian

"You don't even know how to use a bow? Man, you must die all the time."

-Cando Lalrissian

"Through sound and motion, you will be able to paralyze nerves, shatter bones, suffocate an enemy or burst his organs"

-Cando Lalrissian
(by way of Paul Muad’Dib, Dune 1984)

"Todd is powerful. Todd is good. All praise be to Todd!"

-Cando Lalrissian

"Dawnstar #1018. Hail Sithis."

-Cando Lalrissian


Cando Lalrissian



Home Town



You know, walk the earth, meet people… get into adventures. Like Caine in Kung Fu.

Favorite Weapon/Fighting Style

All of them. Wait…. Yes, all of ’em.

Magical Aptitude (If Any)

All of them. EXCEPT Necromancy. That shit ain’t right. As Todd is my witness, my pops would legit come back to life and kill my immortal ass if he ever caught me messin’ around with that. Which would kind of be inadvertent necromancy in and of itself. It’s a double whammy, my friend. No way, no how am I touchin’ that stuff.


All of… look. At the risk of soundin’ like a broken record… I been around. Done a lot of crazy things. Safe to say I’ve been a member of every faction there is at one time or ‘nother. And that’s no boast. I know every secret handshake there is. Sometimes I like to string ’em together. Make ’em my own. Like a combo move, you know? My, that is great fun. Baffles the hell out of some folk, too.


Fire. Cookin’ on fire. Staring at the smoke comin’ out of fire. I also enjoy the occasional role playing game. I can never pass up savin’ the world, though. That’s gotta be my favorite.


Ignorance, poor behavior, and lack of respect for one’s gods, elders, peers, and subordinates.


That’s a looooong story, my friend. Remember nodding off in history class? That’s you, if I start tellin’ that tale. Don’t mind my past. You worry about your future.

What is your ideal recreational activity?

Staring at my fire. It stares back, you know. When you’re at peace. It tells you things. Asks you things. Such a wise and curious thing, fire. Some call me a pyromaniac, but that ain’t it. It’s like a true romantic doesn’t just love whenever he can as often as he can, but when he does, it’s special. When I light a fire, it’s special. It means somethin’. You understand?

What is your best feature?

Gotta be the hair. I mean, look at this thing. No, you can’t touch it! Come on, man. Just admire from afar, okay? If you’re close enough to smell the wood smoke, you’re too close. Just back it off a bit, okay?

Let’s be honest. What’s your claim to fame?

While I’m proud of a lot in my time, they’re going to want me to say The Oblivion Crisis. That whole thing was me. Do not think I say this out of pride. I did what had to be done with the unique gifts I was given. I gotta get somethin’ off my chest though. Something not a lot of folk know. And if you tell Ynroh, I swear to Todd, I’ll never hear the end of it. This is Cone of Silence talk, ok? Ok.

This ain’t widely known. But just to prove to you I was there… Uriel Septim? The seventh one. You know him? Dude’s voice sounded exactly like Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise. You know… The “D”. The fat one. I mean he sounded exactly like the dude. It was almost creepy. And I want to say he sounded a bit like Professor X as well. From the original movies. Strange, I know.