Ynroh of the Howz of Keeg
Windhlem, Home of the Windhlem Horkerz. Go Horkerz!
Um… are you tlaking about a job? Cuz I dno’t hav one. Im not 1 2 work 4 the man. Wate. Do u mean do I ocupy a house? Cuz no I dont hav 1 of those either. But I do like 2 keep myslef ocupide with drinking skuuma. I finde it keeps the bordom of unemlpoyment away.
Favorite Weapon/Fighting Style
Sord. Battel Ax
Magical Aptitude (If Any)
Dude u hav got to b frickn kidding me. Who rote this? I am insluted.
I dno’t no whut that is.
Skuuma. Audio Books. Mirrurs. Wait loss programz. Killin things. Meed (if no skuuma is prezent). Watchin gurls watchin me. Um… Sy Fy. The genre not the channel cuz the channel bloze. At least they spel it rite.
Skjorta. Reel books with pages. Milk. Catz that dno’t talk. Most catz that do talk. Star Warz preekwelz (I ohnestly try to ejnoy them but just cna’t.) Peeple that dno’t beleve in draggins. Because they’re
cumming coming (crap even I kno that wuz a typeo LOL) Lizzerds that say they dno’t steel but do. THE NEW SKUUMA. I CNANOT XPRESS HOW MUCH I H8 THE NEW SKUUMA O MY TOD IT IS HOREN HURRENDI HOER REELY CRAPPY. The Unholy Trinitee of Tim Burton, Jonny Dep and Danni Elfman. They just wierd me out on so many levelz. O yah and cilantro. I reelize thta’s like the ONLY thing on this page thas speld coreckly but I must make it ABNUDANTLY CLEER how much I h8 it. Cilantro bloze. And I also h8 riting. So thankz 4 this. Doosh.
So i wuz born in Sunz Dusk in Windhlem and i was a little on the portly side so my da tride all these trix to make me exresize but i wuz 2 smart 4 him. O waite i fergot my ma dide when she had me. On account of i think i was 2 fat to… u know… exit in an orderly fashin. But my da sed there was litening and thunder when i was
bored born (and like animals howling and stuf) so maybe she got electrocuteded. So l8r my da dide to and I wuz all alone. But he gave me a sord so it wuz all good. So i got sent 2 this orfanidge in Riftin but the chick in charge wuz kind of a bitc really mean lady so I got my self emaciated. I mean wait. Emancepated. I friggin left. Then I hooked up with Skjorta and we had lots of fun but it turned out she 2 was a bitc woman of ill repute and she dumped me for this dude Olfand. Turnz out they were both desended frum 2 other peeple named Skjorta and Olfand like 200 years agoe and their famly had a shop in Bruma (thatz in Seerodill if you dno’t no geeografy) so they moved down there and i guess got married or whutever inbred folk do when they’re inbred and hrony and in Bruma so I cna’t stalk them and put flaming bags of poo in their malebox. Whut wuz I tlaking about. ? Is this enuff 4 this part. ?
What is your ideal recreational activity?
Why cna’t u just say “whut do u do 4 fun?” Warrierz frown up on reeding and you arn’t making this quiz axessible to peeple. Im jsut saying. 2 anser yuor question. Drink skuuma and kill
shi things. That is my wheel house.
What is your best feature?
My speling. LOLOLOLOLOLOL Im jesting with u. I got2 say my hare is my best feature. It reminds me of mel gipson in the movie
bravehatre brave hart. But also my eyebrowse. And my hole face really. Peeple say I resembel a cross between mel gipson, tom sellick and jonny galeckey. But with pecs.
Let’s be honest. What’s your claim to fame?
I’ve recently been informed that there is a button marked “spell check” on this software. So the timing there was… you know… RIGHT IN THE NICK OF. So anyway, yeah. Claim to fame, huh? I guess I’m gonna go with “Savior of the World as You Know It”. Or “Saviour” if you’re a High Elf. Funny how “Saviour” got auto-corrected and I had to go back and fix it. Twice. That’s what you people get for spelling stuff wrong. So yeah. I’m gonna go ahead and say “save the world” is my claim to fame. Let’s see if the lizard can top that. LOL. LOL. Why won’t this spell checker let me put more than one LOL at a time? By Todd’s Overwhelming Badassness, this thing is a piece of crap. Though in hindsight I think the spell checker would have likely helped you out reading this thing. Sorry about that. Look, you want something dead, you call me. You need an essay, talk to the Dunmer because holy crap that guy can bucket-mouth with the best of ’em.